It's been a long hard week at that job you absolutely detest. Sliding into the chair for an eagerly anticipated appointment, you idly stare at the artwork on the walls. While waiting for "Thor" to start the visual extension of your imagination on your arm, something occurs to you. "Hey, maybe I could do this for a living."

    Not so fast, Picasso. Maybe you got a few gold stars from your Grade 10 Art teacher, but skin art is more involved than painting a couple of rudimentary pictures. At its best, body artistry is just that; art on living canvas. Done poorly though, that 'art' will be nothing more than a permanent, disfiguring blotch or hole on someone.

    Before you decide to make a vocation out of sticking sharp objects into people you don't even know, you need to do some soul searching. If this is your way of getting to touch hot babes in places they'd normally slap you for, then you should consider a career as a porn star instead. If you're truly stoked about skin art, be prepared to devote the next few years of your life achieving the degree of competence that your potential clients deserve from you.

    The road to mastering either tattooing or piercing is as colourful and diverse as the people who travel it. There are currently no industry standards in Canada, and in the U.S they change from state to state. Consequently, there are artists of varying skill levels and knowledge.  It's up to you to weed out the charlatans and find the best possible education you can.

    Traditionally, both disciplines have been taught by apprenticeship. Obtaining an apprenticeship from a reputable and respected master of his/her craft can be difficult though. To give you an idea of what you might be up against, Blackstar Body Piercing in Kingston Ontario receives hundreds of applications annually, but only has one apprentice every two years.

    Many artists are reluctant to breed competition by taking someone under their wing. Fewer yet will take people they don't know off the streets as students. Should you be so lucky as to find one who will take an unknown, keep walking. An indiscriminate "tutor" is more interested in lightening the load in your wallet than maintaining and promoting quality work.

    The search for an apprenticing master can be a long one. Expect to spend weeks, even months, just hanging around the local shops and getting to know the artists. You may even find yourself answering phones and making coffee while you schmooze.

    Check out the shops objectively when you're in there. Don't just gaze longingly at the pretty pictures on the wall, but look at the overall impression.  Is Fluffy the cat allowed to sleep in what is supposed to be the hand-washing sink? Does "Thor" still have the lingering odour of a conversation he had with Jack Daniels? Has the place passed local health board regulations? (*Hint…look for the paper on the wall that doesn't have pictures on it.)

    Are there already apprentices in place, and if so, how many? If there's a half dozen milling around, they aren't getting proper one-on-one instruction, and neither will you. Most shops will only apprentice one student at a time.

    Talk to former students and clients, get their feedback. Were their experiences positive ones, or were they tempted to go for plastic surgery after? Unfortunately, with the lack of federal standards, the industry has been infused with self-proclaimed artists who then perpetuate their deficiencies. It may be a bonus for those artists specializing in cover-up work, but you shouldn't be training to provide even more unhappy customers.

    Cameron Fuhrer, a tattoo artist for over 18 years and owner/operator of Strata Tattoo Lab in Yucca Valley, California echoes that reality:

    "There are so many young kids in the industry that couldn't even draw before they started but rather have learned the technique of tattooing flash art.  These very kids are "apprenticing" their friends who are learning the same by default. The soul of tattooing is becoming lost.  To be a great tattoo artist rather than a tattooist, I would recommend finding an old timer, with tattooing experience and life experience, who might be willing to apprentice someone. Tattooing is deeper than just putting pretty designs on a client's skin.... an old timer would be able to teach the whole realm of tattooing."

    The artists themselves will use the time you spend at the shops, as they determine if you're the right 'fit'. Artistic background, ability and diversity are obviously important, but that's not all they'll want to see. Your personality, commitment, drive, and capacity to accept criticism all come into play. They need to know before they take on the responsibility of teaching you that you're going to be worth the effort. They also have to feel confident that they'll be able to work with you for the next few years without becoming homicidal.

    Of course, just obtaining an apprenticeship isn't where your work ends and the fun starts. Expect to sign a contract, with a non-competition clause. This is to protect the shop owner from you opening your own shop across the street, or even in the same city. Once upon a time, this could be accomplished with a handshake and the promise of a free piercing with a 9mm. Sadly though, all good things must come to an end, and lawyers have now replaced 'air conditioning'. Some contracts will also contain a longevity clause, expecting you to stay a minimum amount of time both during and after your apprenticeship.

    There will be a fee for your instruction, and this will vary from shop to shop. Unlike other trade apprenticeships, neither piercing nor tattooing are 'earn as you learn' vocations. While you're putting in 40 hours a week honing your skills, you'll have to find the time and energy to work a second job to pay the bills. You may eventually earn a little as you progress, but it will be the better part of a year or more before you shift from decorating citrus fruits to adorning real people.

    Once your contractual obligations have been completed, it may be tempting to move to another shop to learn more, or even start your own. However, this is strongly discouraged whenever possible. It takes time to build up a clientele and become well known. Many apprentices stay with their tutors as employees, long after their instruction is finished. Unfortunately, artists and egos being what they are, this may not always be feasible. The size of your town too will determine if there's enough work for both of you. It may be necessary at some point to move on, based strictly on economics. Try to keep your travels to a minimum so that the public, your customers, get to know and trust you. 

    The alternative to apprenticeships is the myriad of private schools that are popping up. While some are in legitimate response to the difficulties encountered by most people seeking apprenticeships, they all have one thing in common…time, or rather lack of it. The average apprenticeship is around 3 years, give or take. That's about 6000 hours of instruction. A course that is only 3 weeks in duration will only have 120 hours. You do the math. It would be impossible to cram 3 years worth of information into a few weeks.

    The tuition fees for schools can be fairly high, approximately $1000 per week of instruction. Even if cost isn't a deterrent, most schools and tutors will have prerequisites and screening processes. Kristi Kilbourne of Pacific Northwest Tattoo Seminars in Spokane, Washington has a comprehensive course complete with small business planning for the potential shop owner. To be successfully chosen for the course though, she prefers students with a minimum of 2 years in formal art instruction. Primal Instincts Body Piercing School in Massachusetts offers a one-week course to a handful of carefully selected students. After the course, instructor Rich Warner strongly recommends at least a one-year apprenticeship to build the student's confidence level.

    The good part about the schools is that for those impatient souls who are into instant gratification, the instruction they present is better than what's offered in your buddy's basement. Still though, with either tattooing or piercing, there is no substitute for time.

    Should you decide to go to one of the schools, use the knowledge gained as an addition to what you'll pick up in a subsequent apprenticeship. Don't make the mistake of fast tracking your career with a quickie course. You'll do yourself, your customers and the industry at large more harm than good.

    How long will it be before you can have your own apprentice? Again, there are variables, but it shouldn't be until you truly feel that you have mastered your particular discipline. As an example, Bear of Bear's Skin Art in Edmonton Alberta started in the industry during the late 70's, but didn't take his first apprentice until 1995 and has had only 4 to date. There's no hurry to pass on your mistakes; ensure that your own work is flawless before you begin teaching anyone else.

    Quality skin art isn't always quick or painless; mastering it won't be either. It takes hard work, commitment, and dedication to become a skilled artist. Your clients deserve nothing but the best; make certain that you can offer them that.